Interviews produce in-depth information that you cannot easily obtain from surveys. While surveys focuses mainly on quantifiable data and closed questions, interviews allow for expert opinions from activists and donors, and open-ended questions which can provide context to survey data results.

In this section

• General tips
  1. Before conducting your interviews
  2. During the interviews
• Specialized interviews
  1. Donor interviews
  2. Women’s rights organizations and activists interviews
• Preliminary findings

General tips

1. Before conducting your interviews

Send the interviewees a concept note with your objectives for the interview and for your overall research, as well as a list of questions.

This allows them to prepare answers for more complicated questions and look up information that they may not have immediately on hand.

2. During the interviews

• You can conduct interviews while your survey is running, in order to save time.
• Try to keep your interviews as consistent as possible in order to facilitate systematic analysis of results. This means asking the same questions. Coding identical responses to each question will allow you to uncover hidden trends.
• The interviews can also be used to flesh out some of the survey findings

Do not base your questions on assumptions about your interviewees’ knowledge.
Instead, first clarify what they know – this will reveal information as well.

• DON’T: “Given the current funding trends in Switzerland, do you know of any opportunities for collaboration? This question assumes that the interviewee knows current funding trends and that their understanding of funding trends matches yours.
• DO: First ask “What is your understanding of current funding trends in Switzerland?”, followed by “Do you know of any opportunities for collaboration?” This will reveal what their understanding is, giving you even more information than the first question.

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Specialized interviews

1. Donor interviews

Interviews with donors will allow you to build deeper relationships with them, which will be useful when you conduct post-research advocacy. They will also provide you with deeper insight into funders’ decision-making processes.

Suggested topics of focus for donor interviews:

• What are their funding priorities? Why and how did they select those priorities? For example, why do they choose project-funding over core support or vice versa?
• What are annual amounts allocated to the advancement of women’s human rights? This will strengthen overall reliability of data collected.
• Have they noticed any funding trends, and what do they believe are the origins and politics behind these trends?
• What is their theory of social change and how does that impact their relationships with women’s rights organizations?

View samples of donor interviews

2. Women’s rights organizations and activists interviews

Interviews with women’s rights organizations and activists will provide you with insight into their on-the-ground realities. Again, these interviews will allow you to build deeper relationships that can be incorporated into your advocacy, particularly to encourage collaboration between donors and activists.

Suggested topics of focus for women’s rights organizations and activist interviews:

• Long-term funding priority trends noted by women’s organizations and their impact.
• Successful examples of feminist and collaborative resource mobilization strategies that build strong and complementary movements.
• “Making the case” for why it is important to support women’s organizations and organizing.
• How different actors understand the social change process and their role in advancing/achieving gender equality and women’s rights.

View samples of women’s organizations and activists interviews

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Preliminary findings

Through the course of your WITM research, we recommend analyzing your preliminary findings. Presenting your preliminary findings opens up opportunities to conduct more interviews and get feedback on your research process and initial results. This feedback can be incorporated into your final research.

AWID conducts “WITM convenings” to share preliminary results of survey data and interviews. These gatherings allow participants (activists, women’s rights organizations, and donors) to debate and discuss the results, clarifying the context, creating more ownership amongst members of the movement, and providing more input for final research.

For example, the Resource Mobilization Hub for Indigenous Women’s Rights at the World Summit on Indigenous Philanthropy was used as a space to debut preliminary results.

See the presentation given at the RMH

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Previous step

4. Collect and analyze your data

Next step

6. Conduct desk research

Estimated time:

• 1.5 - 3 months

People needed:

• 1 or more research person(s)

Resources needed:

• List of donors and women’s rights organizations and activists to interview
• Prepared interview questions
• Concept Note (You can use the research framing you created in the “Frame your research” section)

Resources available:

• AWID Sample Interview Questions: Donors
• AWID Sample Interview Questions: Activists & Women’s Rights Organizations

Previous step

4. Collect and analyze your data

Next step

6. Conduct desk research

Ready to Go? Worksheet

Download the toolkit in PDF

As feminists many of us feel frustrated as we lurch from one political ‘moment’ to another; our work constrained by the parameters of organisational mandates, funding trends or political agendas, our time spent arguing over the need for gender analysis rather than building alliances for change.

The Gender & Development Network’s project on Feminist Alternatives provides space to consider what is important, to listen deeply to others and to accept challenges to our assumptions. Transformative progress towards feminist societies requires fundamental change that is context-specific, recognising intersectionality, the multiplicity of feminism, and the pivotal role of women’s collective action.

Rather than attempt to write a single paper, we have therefore produced a collection of thought pieces from academics, activists and practitioners around the world – not to suggest that we have the answers, but rather to encourage and provoke debate with the hope that more articles can be added in the future.

We are delighted to link our collection to AWID’s Feminist Propositions for a Just Economy.

Find out more about the Feminist Alternative project

Free ebook on Women's rights and Religious fundamentalisms

Religious fundamentalisms have particularly high costs for women and girls

Download ebook

In a global picture of rising religious fundamentalisms, this ebook details the grave human rights violations, and violations of women’s rights in particular, caused by state-sponsored fundamentalism, as well as by fundamentalist non-state actors such as militias, religious community organizations, and individuals.

It is vital to promote intersectional feminist understandings of power and privilege, and to apply these to questions of religion and culture.

Read more on women's rights

Co-creating welcoming and safe spaces

The co-creation of our feminist realities starts with ourselves and how we treat each other. We are dedicated to creating and protecting safe and supportive spaces for our communities both online and in person. We also consider that safe and welcoming spaces are co-owned and co-created.

We  expect our members to act in a manner that is ethical, responsible and consistent with the values of AWID and assume collective responsibility to ensure an atmosphere of mutual respect and solidarity. 

All AWID members are encouraged to: 

• Connect with others, help break isolation and further solidarity.  It’s easy to feel lost and alone, and a little friendliness and responsiveness goes a long way.

• Interact and engage peacefully. Differences in opinion will naturally arise, so please think of these differences as useful for expanding your thinking and ways of seeing the world.

• Help build a space that recognizes and validates multiple lived experiences and diversities of bodies and gender expressions. Recognize that we all carry intersectional identities.

• Use inclusive language. Be respectful of how people want to be referred to in terms of gender identity or expression (like pronouns), and practice inclusive language. 

• Listen and make adjustments in your behavior and ways of engaging if someone says they feel uncomfortable. Don’t ask others questions that you wouldn't want to be asked yourself.

• Help challenge oppressive behavior, which includes harassment, verbal or physical violence, violation of consent, and any action that perpetuates classism, ageism, ableism, racism, misogyny, heterosexism, transphobia and other oppressions.  If needed, please reach out to AWID staff. 

• Practice speaking and listening with an open mind and heart and without judgement.

• Be honest, open and heartfelt. Speak and share authentically about your experiences, your challenges, your hopes and dreams, and your vision for your own life and your community.

• Practice active listening and self-awareness. Be aware of how much time and space you are taking up- leave room for others, practice active listening and learning.

• Be mindful and credit others for their work and activism. Remember that we are all working collectively to contribute to change-- Ensure that you recognize the contribution of others and credit them when appropriate e.g. in discussions, or in articles, pictures etc.

• Stay safe! We encourage you to take measures to protect yourself online and in person, especially if you have reason to believe that speaking out will put you in danger. Members may use aliases or profile images that conceal their identity. For more information please refer to the “Digital Security First Aid Kit for Human Rights Defenders” produced by APC - Association for Progressive Communications. 

•  Respect the privacy needs of others! Do not share or forward any information without explicit permission.

Our Values

Solidarity 

We take a position in solidarity with each other and diverse struggles for justice and freedoms. We strive to mobilize and strengthen collective action and practice meaningful ways of working with each other.

Human rights

We believe in a full application of the principle of rights including those enshrined in international laws and affirm the belief that all human rights are interrelated, interdependent and indivisible. We are committed to working towards the eradication of all discriminations based on gender, sexuality, religion, age, ability, ethnicity, race, nationality, class or other factors.

Responsibility, Accountability, and Integrity

We strive for transparency, responsible use of our resources, fairness in our collaborations and accountability and integrity with our members, partners, funders and the movements with(in) which we work. We are committed to reflecting on our experiences, sharing our learnings openly, and striving to change our practices accordingly.

Intersectionality

We believe that for feminist movements to be transformative and strong we must continue to work across our similarities and differences. We also must interrogate power and privilege both within and outside our movements.

Bodily autonomy, integrity and freedoms

We celebrate everyone's right to choose their identities, relationships, goals, work, dreams and pleasures, and what they do with their mind, body and spirit. We believe in working towards access to resources, information and safe and enabling environments that allow this to happen.

Justice and systemic change

We work towards a world based on social, environmental, and economic justice; and interdependence, solidarity, and respect. We work towards dismantling systems of oppressive power and against all its manifestations, including patriarchy, fundamentalisms, militarisms, fascisms and corporate power that threaten our lives and our world. We want a just world where resources and power are shared in ways that enable everyone to thrive.

Please note:  

AWID reserves the right to delete comments, suspend or revoke membership when our community guidelines have been violated. AWID members are not authorised to represent AWID in any official capacity unless stipulated in writing. Members cannot use AWID spaces to proselytize or recruit members to join a religious faith or organisation. Members cannot use AWID spaces to request funds for personal use although links to external fundraising efforts or activism campaigns are permissible.
 

By Alejandra Laprea

What a difficult task, that of condensing all the power and diversity of voices being raised in Latin America to tell the other stories emerging in this vast territory, to speak of the feminist realities we are building in our movement and other community-based organizations.

I spent a long time trying to establish parameters for the search and selection of these films, with the idea that they  would enable you to get a little closer to so many dreams and projects that are slowly coming into being in the territories Nuestroamericanos, of our Americas, as we like to call them ourselves. It was a tough job trying to establish parameters, such as geographic location, linguistic justice, and representation of diverse communities — Indigenous, Afro-descendants, migrants  — and the many causes and claims for which they raise their voices. I arrived at the conclusion that making such a compilation would be the work of years, one of those projects always under construction.

And so I decided to search for works that have emerged out of organizing and activism, as well as films that will perhaps spark major debates that we are yet to have.

In this selection of films you will find the voices of filmmakers who are not content with simply recording the feminist realities that palpitate in every corner of this vast and diverse territory. These are works that from their very conceptualization are questioning for what, by whom, and how films and videos are made. They understand film to be an instrument of struggle,  something more than images to be enjoyed on a screen. These are individual or collective filmmakers who see film and video making as an instrument to promote discussion, open a debate, and thus serve as a resource for popular and feminist pedagogies.

Seen in this light, this small film selection is a journeythrough feminist realities on two levels; on one level are the stories you will see, and on another level, there is the experimentation of filmmakers who are seeking and creating other feminist realities through the ways in which they are making films and telling stories. 

Enjoy this journey through films that Resist, Create, and Transform.

Lima is Burning

Direction: Giovana García Soto
Docu-fiction
Spanish with English subtitles

In Lima is Burning our work plays with documentary and fiction to take us into the life of Gía, a non-binary person, who uses performance art as a tool to denounce and transgress, as a vital manifesto against transfobia in every space, including gays spaces. With Gía we also take a look at transfeminism as a safe community in which Gía feels embraced, where she shares feelings and affections. 

Giovana Garcia Sojo is a young peruvian audiovisual producer, specialized in low-budget production, creation for children and adolescents in cinema and cinematographic script by the International School of Cinema and Television - EICTV in San Antonio de Baños - Cuba. Giovana has developed her path as a director towards women and feminized identities, Lima is Burning is one of her first works.  

Yo, Imposible / Being Impossible 

Director: Patricia Ortega
Fiction
Spanish with English subtitles

Patricia Ortega, director of «Yo, Imposible» [“Being Impossible”] explores through the character of Ariel, a young girl whose  intersex body was surgically violated as a child, the many ways that society attempts to normalize sexual and gender diversity.

The film tells the story of how Ariel discovers she was born intersex and subjected to several surgeries to normalize her genitals. This discovery leads the character to rediscover her body and reconstruct her identity. The audience is led to question a society dominated by heteronormativity which renders others invisible and condemns them to a life of unhappiness. 

Patricia Ortega is a Venezuelan filmmaker living in Argentina who studied at the International School of Film and Television in Cuba, where she specialized in film directing. Patricia uses fiction to address extreme situations that women or feminized bodies go through, and how they overcome them.

«Yo, Imposible»' takes a position vis-à-vis the dominant conception of a world in which only the masculine and feminine exist, which makes others invisible. “They are not sick. They are just genetically different. Interventions are done on their genitals and bodies through hormones without their consent, which is a violation of their human rights and identity, forcing them to fit into established categories'' - Patricia Ortega

Cubanas, mujeres en revolución [Cuban Women in Revolution]

Director: Maria Torrellas Liebana
Documentary
Spanish with English subtitles

María Torrellas narrates the story of the Cuban Revolution through the women who brought it to life, Vilma Espín, Celia Sánchez, and Haydee Santamaría, among others.

For women, telling the story of the Cuban Revolution is not something of the past, but a daily struggle that Torrellas shows through the voices of Cuban rural women, professionals, students, and workers in the present. In “Cuban Women in Revolution” we encounter the current challenges facing Cuban women such as the persistence of old prejudices, new forms of violence, and the constant challenge of creating new feminist realities for themselves and the next generations in a territory besieged by USA imperialism for more than 70 years.

Maíia Torrellas

María Torrellas is a journalist and documentary filmmaker. She has a long trajectory of filmmaking and has won, among others, the Santiago Alvarez in Memoriam award for her documentary “Memoria de una hija de Oshun” [Memory of a Daughter of Oshun].

“In the documentary I have woven together the struggles of yesterday’s heroines with those of today’s women. The women tell their own stories and also describe those whose struggles they most admire. It made an impression on me to hear the words ‘The Revolution gave us everything’ or ‘What would have become of my family without the Revolution?’ from voices of compañeras who are poor, rural, or Black.” - María Torrellas

Serie documental Cuidanderas [Mini documentary series Women Healers/Carers]

Directors: Gabriela Arnal and Marzel Ávila for Fondo de Acción Urgente - LAC
Ecuador 2019
Spanish with English subtitles

CUIDANDERAS joins the words cuidar (to care for) and curanderas (women healers) synthesizing the identities of a series of women in Latin American territories, women who put their bodies and all their energy into protecting the Commons, what Pachamama gives us, with the commitment that we use it as wisely as the rest of living beings doThis mini series of documentary films presents the stories of three collectives of Latin American women who are committed to caring for their territories, healing their bodies, and confronting extractivist and racist projects in Ecuador, Colombia, and Bolivia.

GUARDIANAS DE LA AMAZONIA [GUARDIANS OF THE AMAZON]

Province of Orellana, Ecuador. For centuries the Waorani women have been engaged in a struggle for their territory in the Amazon and the preservation of their Indigenous culture. Today they confront threats by the oil industry and their death-production model. From the jungle, leaders from the Waorani Women’s Association of the Ecuadoran Amazon (AMWAE, in Spanish) share the motivation behind their resistance and show their greatest power: their inexhaustible joy.

COMADRES DEL PACÍFICO COLOMBIANO [BLACK SISTERHOOD OF THE PACIFIC]

Buenaventura, Colombia. In the largest and most violent port city in Colombia, plagued by decades of armed conflict, racism, and machismo, a group of women refuse to give in to fear and continue to resist in the face of adversity. The Butterflies with New Wings network is made up of Black women from the Pacific coast of Colombia who work together to protect their territory, recuperate their ancestral traditions, and heal the wounds of systematic and structural violence.

HERMANAS DEL ALTIPLANO [SISTERS OF THE HIGHLANDS]

Indigenous, rural, and regantes (women in charge of irrigation) in Bolivia are calling for the care and protection of bodies-earth-territories, as they are faced with an extractive production model which threatens their lives, health, physical and sexual integrity, and the survival of their communities and territories. The Network of Defenders of Mother Earth is made up of women from 12 Indigenous communities who are defending the right to water and denouncing mining companies’ violations of human rights and the rights of Nature while working to recuperate their ancestral ways of knowledge and practices of collective care.

“CUIDANDERAS, a combination of the words cuidar (to care for) and curanderas (women healers), presents the stories of Latin American women defenders who are caring for their territories and healing their bodies. The collective power of these women has changed the history of their communities in Ecuador, Colombia, and Bolivia as they confront extractivist and racist production models.”

Yo aborto, tú abortas, todxs callamos [I abort, you abort, we all keep silent]

Director: Carolina Reynoso
Argentina 2013
Spanish

If there is one thing that has marked feminist movements across the continent of Latin America that is the call for abortion to be made available, safe, and free. From North to South feminist movements are rising up and taking to the streets fighting for the liberation of our first territory, our bodies, which is why this selection must include a documentary on abortion to fully understand the power of the women of Nuestramérica.

Yo aborto, Tu Abortas, Todxs Callamos [I abort, you abort, we all keep silent] presents the stories of seven women from different social classes, including the director of the documentary herself, who reflect on something they have all experienced in their own bodies: clandestine abortion.  

Through their stories, the film aims to bust myths regarding the voluntary interruption of pregnancy, de-stigmatize the topic, and show one of the most common forms of violence in the Americas in a new light.

Carolina Reynoso

Director, researcher, and producer of feminist films. She is also a feminist activist who organizes workshops on screenwriting from a gender perspective so that more films are made showing other counterhegemonic realities and stories. Carolina Reynoso strikes a balance between activism and creation in each one of her works.

“We are a group of filmmakers who make documentaries in order to continue fighting to make abortion available, safe, and free in Argentina. The film presents the testimonies of seven women from different social classes, including the director of the documentary herself, who reflect on something they have all experienced in their own bodies: clandestine abortion.” -The filmmaking team

Historias Urgentes: Resistencia en ollas Comunes [Urgent Stories: Resistance in the Soup Kitchens]

Nosotras Audiovisuales, collective of Chilean women filmmakers
Chile 2020
Spanish

“Urgent Stories” is a series created by women to make their needs and important experiences visible to the people living in the territories that today comprise Chile. This film series aims to keep alive the flame ignited by the social uprising of October 2019, the flame ofChile in all its diversity that woke up and said, ‘Enough!’

«Resistencia en ollas comunes» [Resistance in the Soup Kitchens] is the first of these “Urgent Stories.” Through the voices of four women from Iquique, Valparaiso, Chillan and Santiago, it shows how by collectively assuming care work they are on the front lines of resistance, creating other feminist realities for themselves and the communities where Latin American women live.

Nosotras audiovisuales

This organization was formed in 2017 to link together women involved in the Chilean filmmaking scene. It helps women filmmakers to network, collaborate, and share information along with their works and perspectives on the field.

Nosotras Audiovisuales contributes to the Chilean uprising by documenting it and collectively generating new material.

Se trata de Mujeres [It’s about Women]

Micol Metzner
Argentina 2019
Spanish

Based on her personal experience, director Micol Metzner presents a film mixing documentary with fiction, aligning her filmmaker’s voice with that of thousands of women who have been victims of trafficking across the continent and showing how solidarity among women is the best form of protection.

Micol Metzner

Filmmaker trained at the Instituto de Arte Cinematográfico de Avellaneda [Avellaneda Institute of Film Arts]. Art director and editor. Metzner belongs to the Video Cluster of the City of Buenos Aires, a community space and multisectorial cooperative for independent projects.

She facilitates filmmaking workshops in working class neighbourhoods and spaces of enclosure (youth group homes and women’s prisons). She is a member of the film production house MVM.

“The production house MVM was born out of the necessity to express a lot of things that we regularly protest on the streets about while also doing it in a creative way through drawing, film, and photography.The production house MVM is a place that interrogates language, image, film from a feminist perspective. It is also a place for processing everything we have gone through and using art to make things sometimes to heal, sometimes to generate public debate as happened with this short film…I didn’t imagine that was going to happen, but when we showed  it,  a lot of things were set  in motion. Discussions happen that are even more enriching than the short film itself. That this can happen based on something we made is so good…” - Micol Metzner

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Chapitre 1

Alors que les fondamentalismes, les fascismes et autres systèmes d’oppression se métamorphosent et trouvent de nouvelles tactiques et stratégies pour consolider leur pouvoir et influence, les mouvements féministes persévèrent et célèbrent leurs victoires nationales, régionales et internationales.

La reconnaissance en 2019 par le Conseil des droits de l’Homme du droit à l’intégrité et à l’autonomie corporelles, par exemple, a marqué une étape cruciale. Des résolutions du Conseil sur la discrimination envers les femmes et les filles admettent cependant un recul lié à des groupes de pression rétrogrades, des conceptions idéologiques ou un détournement de la culture ou la religion pour s’opposer à l’égalité de leurs droits. Des avancées féministes sont aussi notées dans le travail des Procédures spéciales, qui soulignent notamment l’obligation des États de contrer les doctrines de l’idéologie du genre, rappellent à l’ordre les antidroits qui détournent des références à la « culture », et signalent que les convictions religieuses ne peuvent pas servir à justifier la violence ou la discrimination.

Sommaire

• Niveau national
• Sphères mondiales
• Exercice : Cartographions et célébrons nos victoires!

Lire le chapitre complet

The Circle’s Conspiracy of Writers | Wazina Zondon

	Also known as the Teta Research Network, The Conspiracy of Writers was founded in 2021 in the context of Kohl’s weekly writing circles. The Network is a transnational group of queer and feminist writers who engage in collective writing, thinking, and world-making.	Wazina Zondon is an Afghan raised in New York City. Her storycollecting and storytelling work centers collective memories and rites of passage in the diaspora. Currently, she is working on Faith: in Love/faith in love which (re)traces her parent’s love story and family’s inherited love print.

Love is a contraband in Hell,
cause love is acid
that eats away bars. 

But you, me, and tomorrow
hold hands and make vows
that struggle will multiply.

The hacksaw has two blades.
The shotgun has two barrels.
We are pregnant with freedom.
We are a conspiracy.

It is our duty to fight for freedom.
It is our duty to win.
We must love each other and support each other.
We have nothing to lose but our chains.

- “Love” by Assata Shakur

“If we can inherit trauma, can we inherit an imprint related to love?”

That is the question Wazina Zondon asks in her collective memoir Loveprint. Loveprint is a wandering, an overlap, a deviation that (re)creates, at the intersection of interviews and personal essays, our family’s stories and insights on love, partnership and romance. Under Wazina’s guidance, the circle’s conspiracy of writers came together and attempted to reproduce this literal blueprint in the form of collective writing, where our different stories, our genders and sexual identities complement and contradict each other. With our voices overlapping, we complete each other’s sentences to create a conversation, a memorial, pieces of ourselves that speak to a “we.”

What are the origins of your love print?

I am a so-called “happy accident.” There is much narration about this – an accidental life, one that is entirely wanted at the same time. I feel this shaped my way of loving, I don’t just fall in love; I risk the slips that lead to the fall. Perhaps it made me an amor fati kind of person. 

I was told that I was an unwanted child. So I grew up to become an unwanted adult. The origins of my love print are based on being eternally unwelcomed. I am not a fruit of love or any happy feelings but rather one pain and burden. I don’t have a love print – at least not in this sense.

I know for a fact that both my parents were in love at some point, but mental health is such a demon, and until one confronts their demons, there is no winning.

I will never associate “love” with my parents or normative family. Love growing up was full of violence and responsibilities I didn’t sign up for or was even ready for. For the longest time, it felt like life and love were about carrying a big rock uphill. While my parents “loved each other,” it was a toxic ethos of violence, jealousy, and insecurity to grow up in. I grew up wanting to crave stability, and this is what is me now. I am a risk taker, but never in my “love space.”

I don’t know why my mother chose to host a child (me) within her.
She does not love in this form.

My mother tells me that if I have to think about “finding” love, I should never look at her marriage as a template. My love print comes instead from my raising dogs for the last two decades (18 years to be precise). The other way around is true as well – they raised me. I understand more and more about love and its many layers in their company.

I haven’t known love from a “print.” In our household we don’t talk about love. I had to teach myself how to love. It was hard work. Still, I fail and still, I keep on trying and I fail everyday. Perhaps failure is my love print.

My love print is the care, warmth, and understanding I give to others
surrounding me, whether a stranger, a friend, a relative, a lover. 
My love print is political – uncalculated and unthought of.

I was born under heavy shelling. 
My love print is the negative 
print of that.

Lessons learned about love

I know more about what love is not than I know about what love is. 

Love is neither anxiety nor panic.

Love is not asking permission to live or breathe. It is always about love and there is no love without freedom.

Everything you do is about using your heart except love. Love is about using your mind. 

Sometimes I fear that my love language is lost in translation.

--- There are many ways
to map the origins
of how to
how not to
love
not love
love just enough
love far too much
some love
some loss
to love
to love lost ---

I cannot stand the idea of the couple. I cannot stand the idea of living alone while aging either. I am tired of doing the chores alone, moving houses alone, paying rent and bills alone... I imagine getting a stroke alone, and it scares me. I have no plan of “partnering up.” I want a world where I can get married to a friend, buy a house with a friend, not have sex.

Loving many does not corrupt a love shared between two, and whether love is romantic or not is really not that important.

When I reflect on the shoddy state of my relationships, I realize that I am in the relationship I was trained to be in. With all my “radicalness” I have not yet unlearned shitty gendered norms.

My need for stability feels “not radical” enough. I want to get out of this labeling. I want something I never had. I want to make it beautiful. I want to feel beautiful and safe – and only stability makes me feel that. Safe, sound, knowing home is neither about violence nor strife.

--- Love print – love to smell the books to see 
where they were printed
I try to think of the origin of my 
understanding and practice of love
Do we need origin, it is not the same as purity? 
No purity or origin of love. 
Why is it understanding and practice, 
and not “emotion” that comes to mind? ---

When I call my parents, I don’t hang up the phone after we’ve said
goodbye, so I can hear the sounds of home.

What do we need to be/feel loved in death?

During my Sunni burial, I want all the women and men to come together for my burial. What’s with not being able to go say goodbye to dead people from a different sex? It will be Sunni because my mother would want it to be. It will be eco-friendly; no need for the headstone. I love all burial rituals. Quran is good, but I also want music. I really like Asmahan, Um Kulthum, and The Stone Roses.

I have a Monday-Friday playlist and two different ones for the weekend: one for Saturday and one for Sunday playlist. I would like those who loved me to play the music that I used to listen to, respecting the days – with some margin of tolerance as long as they stick to the playlists.

I want to be surrounded by the one(s) who have loved me, even for a moment. And in music and embowered in fresh cut flowers. I don’t want to be discovered dead; I want to pass away mid-laugh with loved ones.

I want to be remembered as someone who loved.

I don’t need to feel loved in death. I need the people around me to feel I loved them, even after I die. Being loved in death is about those who are alive. So I think more about how we come together as a living and loving community in the death of those we love and live with. How we take their memories with us. How we become archives of their lives.

 --- Sometimes, you can only love people in their death. ---

I have to think back to the body being connected to a space. My family is very tiny and although we come from different places, it is as if every generation moved somewhere new. Perhaps this is the reason why death is not connected to a special place, a cemetery. It is common in our family to bury the dead without names or gravestones, or to distribute the ashes in the wind. I feel at peace with this kind of spaceless remembrance. The idea that my ashes fertilize new life gives me the sense of being loved, being remembered through recreation. My grandmother died earlier this year due to complications after the vaccination. Two hours after she died, my family sat laughing tears about her jokes, her hilarious way to tell stories. We laughed and loved, and it was as though she sat with us again. This is what would make me feel at peace – fertilizing soil, fertilizing conversations, and collective remembrance.

--- There were
Two streets that I used 
To walk
To run
To play
To stay

There were 
Five hours when the sun
Was hot
The sky was blue
The earth was green

There was 
A flower I could
Smell
Touch
Squeeze
Crush

There were
The friends I could
Caress
The food
I could 
inhale
The language
That would roll off my
lips

There might still be

Those many places

And things

And people

After me  ---

Perhaps a promise that I will be “spatially commemorated” as a plant and taken care of in turns until it becomes a tree is enough. No name, no plaques – just the plant/tree, and knowing that it will be cared for. As for my body, I want to be cremated without any rituals and my bone ashes set free in the Arabian sea.

I need my body to be treated as subversively as it’s lived.

I do not want to be buried next to my family. In this tiny drawer next to all of the people who never knew me. Trapped in death as I was in life. I want to be cremated, and my ashes finally set free. 

I want to be allowed to pass, not hang in the in-between, so it is a presence, an active process, a trespassing.

I will ask of you: 

• To release me and let me pass
• To not let nostalgia muddy this moment because I will ask only for the normalcy of your expressions
• I have snuck the gentle glimpses and hoarded away the already small and large ways you loved me in order to be sustained. I kept myself alive on these
• To set a finite amount of time to grieve
• To be be reminded there is no separation in the beauty of loving; it is infinite and it regenerates without the body

I want to be remembered for the love I put into the world.
I want my body to be given away, and my organs
to further fuel love in (an)other live(s).

--- The smell of jasmine ---

إلى مجموعتي النسوية، 

تحذير: عنف ضد المرأة و البنت (لانو في فرق بيناتهم) ، اعتداء.

 لطالما كنت جزء منك. لما كنت صغيرة لم أكن أعرف أن كلمة - نسوية - مقصودة لنا نحن ، الي نطمح إلى التغلب على النظام الأبوي وتفكيكه ، الي نلتمس اللجوء في أحضان الشمول والنسوية التقاطعية ، الي يعاملو الناس على قدم المساواة بغض النظر عن جنسهم ، عرقهم،  توجهاتهم الجنسية أو دينهم ، الي يحبو يكونوا أفضل ويستخدموا صلاحياتهم لرفع مستوى الآخرين.

 كان عمري 14 سنة ،لما اعتدى مدرس اللغة الفرنسية في المدرسة الإعدادية على طالبة في صفي ، رجل يبلغ طوله ستة أقدام و عمره ثلاثين عامًا. ذهبت مع الطالبة ، التي كانت صديقة طفولتي ، والعديد من الفتيات في صفي إلى مدير المدرسة للإبلاغ عنه ، وشهد الفصل بأكمله المكون من 30 طالبًا عن الاعتداء. لكن كل محاولاتنا لمحاسبته باءت بالفشل ، وغطت الإدارة قصة الفتاة ولم يُطرد مدرس الفرنسية. أنا والفتيات في صفي شعرنا بغضب كبير، لذلك فعلنا ما  كانت ستفعله كل ناشطة نسوية في مراهقته:رمينا بيض علي سيارته! وعلى الرغم من أن البيض بيتغسل بسهولة ، إلا أن الطلاء الذي استخدمناه في كتابة "خنزير" و "خماج" بقى. لن أنسى أبدًا كيف شعرنا بهداك الوقت. متحررات ، غاضبات ، سعيدات ، متماسكات ، وجبارات.منذ ذلك الحين، نفس الشعور يتكرر في كل بيئة نسوية كان لي الشرف ان احضر فيها. نشأت الناشطة النسوية في داخلي لتنضم إلى Women Deliver ، و AWID ، و Unootha ، ولتنسق ورش نسوية في الجامعة ، بل وتتعرض للاضطهاد بسبب انتمائي النسوي في سن التاسعة عشرة ، لكن هذه قصة أخرى لرسالة أخرى.

توفر لي المساحات النسوية الأمان والتمكين. تلك المساحات هن الأمهات اللواتي تمنينهم والرابط الذي كنا بحاجة إليه للتواصل مع بعضنا وتنظيم أنفسنا على الرغم من خلافاتنا ضد عدو مشترك، الباترياركية. من خلالك تعلمت أن أجمع نقاط قوتي ومهاراتي وأوجههم نحو النهوض بالآخرين وإبراز المهمشين وإعطاء صوت لمن لا صوت لهم.

 كل حبي ونوري وغضبي لكي ،

لينة

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