إن كانت لديكم/ن أسئلة أو أمور تثير قلقكم/ن، الرجاء التوجه الينا عن طريق هذا النموذج وكتابة "استطلاع أين المال" في العنوان أو راسلنا على witm@awid.org

Gender Impact Investing & The Rise of False Solutions:

An Analysis for Feminist Movements

Gender Impact Investing (GII) is now trending as a solution to gender inequality. Yet, as our report indicates, it is actually part of the problem. Public and private institutions marketing GII equate it with promotion of gender equality and with increased resources for women and girls.

Neither claim is evidence-based.

Rather, GII is another expression of subjecting our lives and societies to the same financial logic that has shaped, and continues shaping, the profound inequalities in our world.

With this report, AWID offers the readers - feminists, gender justice advocates and stakeholders in gender impact investing - a critical analysis and substantiated evidence to understand GII, its narratives, and economic and political implications for feminist movements.

A magical experience of feminist story telling led by pan-African feminist Coumba Toure, performing in the age old tradition of West African griots.

And we gathered again 
We gathered our stories our strength 
our songs
our tears 
our rage 
our dreams 
our success
our failures
And we pull them all together 
In one big bowl to share 
for a moon of thoughts 
And we stay in touch 
We shake each others minds 
we caress each other souls
While our hands still are tied 
And our kisses and hugs are banned 
Yet we grow stronger by the hour 
Weaving together our voices
Crossing the sound barriers 
as we speak in tongues 

We are getting louder and louder 
We know about differences from others 
and from each other so we are stitching our beauties into patchwork or thoughts
From our deepest learnings from our powers 
Sometimes we are surrounded by terror 
by confusions by dishonesty
But we wash out in the Ocean of love 
We are weavers of dreams 
To clothes or new world 
Thread after thread
As small as we are
Like little ants building our movement
Llike little drops building our rivers
 We take steps forward and steps backward 
Dancing our way back to sanity 
Sustain to the rhythm of our hearts keep 
Beating please don't not stop
And we are here transmitter of forgotten generosity 
drop after drop growing like the ocean 
growing like the river flowing from our souls .
showing our strength  to be  the  water 
that will clean this world
and we are gathering again can you feel us 
I would lie if I say I said I am 
Ok not to see you I do miss my people 
I miss your touch and
You unfiltered and unrecorded voices 
I miss our whispers and our screams 
Our cries of the aborted revolution 
We only want to give birth to new worlds 
 So fight to erase the borders between us 

And we gathered again 
We gathered our stories our strength 
our songs
our tears 
our rage 
our dreams 
our success
our failures
And we pull them all together In one big bowl to share 
For a moon of thoughts 
And we stay in touch 
We shake each others minds 
we caress each other souls
While our hands still are tied 
And our kisses and hugs are banned 
Yet we grow stronger by the hour 
Weaving together our voices
Crossing the sound barriers 
as we speak in tongues 
We are getting louder and louder 
We know about differences from others 
and from each other so we are stitching our beauties into patchwork or thoughts
From our deepest learnings from our powers Sometimes we are surrounded by terror by Confusions by dishonesty
But we watch out in the Ocean of love 
We are weavers of dreams 
To clothes or new world 
Thread after thread 
As small as we are like little ants building our movements
 like little drops building our rivers We take steps forward and steps backward 
dancing our way back to sanity 
Sustain to the rhythm of our hearts
keep beating please don't not stop
And we are here transmitter of forgotten generosity 
Drop after drop growing like the ocean 
growing like the river flowing from our souls 
showing our strength to be  the  water 
that will clean this world  
and we are gathering again can you feel us 
I would lie if I I said I am Ok
not to see you
I do miss my people
I miss your touch and
You unfiltered and unrecorded voices  
I miss  our  whispers  and  our screams 
Our cries over the aborted revolutions 
We only want to give birth to new worlds 
So fight to erase the borders between us 
Please don’’t stop

Arménien·ne·s, le féminisme est notre passé et notre avenir

par Sophia Armen 

Que cela vous plaise ou non, les ungerhouis font partie intégrante de nos histoires de résistance et elles ne disparaîtront pas de sitôt.  (...)

Lire

Community Jobs Board

Are you job hunting? One of the perks of joining the AWID Community, is getting access to our community curated jobs board. You'll get to explore new opportunities, and you will also have the chance to share vacancies and call for proposals with all members.

ترجمة مارينا سمير

أكوسوا هانسون، فنانة وناشطة مقيمة في أكرا في غانا. تشمل أعمالها على ميادين الإذاعة والتلفزيون ووسائل الإعلام المطبوعة والمسرح والأفلام ومعارض القصص المصورة والأعمال الفنية ثُلاثية الأبعاد والروايات المصورة. تتمحور نشاطية أكوسوا حول قضايا الوحدة الأفريقية والنسوية، مع اهتمام خاص بتقاطع الفن مع الثقافة الشعبية والنشاطية. حائزة على ماجستير في الفلسفة في الدراسات الأفريقية، مع التركيز على الدراسات الجندرية والفكر الفلسفي الأفريقي. أكوسوا مبتكرة مود جيرلز، وهي سلسلة روايات مصورة، تتابع مغامرات أربعة أبطال خارقين يقاتلون من أجل إفريقيا خالية من الفساد والاستعمار الجديد والأصولية الدينية، وثقافة الاغتصاب ورهاب المثلية الجنسية وغير ذلك. تعمل كمذيعة في Y 107.9 FM، غانا.

هل اختبرتم من قبل لحظات من الصفاء الذهني العميق أثناء أو بعد ممارسة الجنس؟

في هذه الرسومات، تنخرط فتاة القمر وادجيت في ممارسة حميمية مع شيطان ثنائي الجندر. من بين فتيات القمر الأربعة، وادجيت هي المُعالِجة والفيلسوفة ووسيطة العرّافة. هي تقوم بذلك من أجل إطلاق عملية علمية وروحية، تُطلِق عليها تسمية «الاستنارة بضوء البدر». خلال هذه العملية، تشكّل تسلسلاً زمنياً حيّاً بين ذكرياتها وحواسها ومشاعرها ورؤاها وخيالاتها. إنّها أحد أشكال السفر عبر الزمن من خلال الذبذبات، من أجل اكتشاف ما تُسميه «تجلّيات الحقيقة». أثناء التجربة، تتضمّن إحدى رؤى وادجيت الضبابية اقتراب نهاية العالم نتيجة تدمير الناس للبيئة في خدمة الرأسمالية الشرهة؛ وذكرى طفولة حول دخول المستشفى بعد التشخيص بمرض نفسي؛ ورؤية لأصل قصّة فتيات القمر يظهر فيها الرمز التوراتي نوح، كفتاة قمر سوداء من عصر قديم تحذّر من أخطار التلوث البيئي. 

تمتدّ ممارسات الـ»بي دي إس إم» إلى أبعد من كونها كينك مرح يقود لاستكشافات حسّية، فبإمكانها أن تكون طريقة للتعامل مع الألم العاطفي والصدمات. لقد كانت وسيلةً للتعافي الجنسي بالنسبة لي، بتقديمها نمط للتحرّر الجذري. تطهيرٌ ما، يحدث، عند وقوع ألمٍ مادّي على الجسد. يقع هذا الألم في وجود تراضٍ، فيستخرج ألمًا عاطفيًا، كما لو كان «يستدعيه». نزول السوط على جسدي يسمح لي بتحرير مشاعر مكبوتة: توتّر، اكتئاب، شعوري بغياب دفاعاتي في وجه ضغوطاتٍ تُغرقني أحيانًا. عند الانخراط في الـ»بي دي إس إم» كسبيل للتعافي، على العشّاق أن يتعلّموا كيف يكونون شديدي الوعي ببعضهم البعض، ومسؤولين عن بعضهم البعض. فحتى لو كانت الموافقة قد أُعطيت في البداية، علينا أن نكون منتبهين لأيّ تغيّرات قد تطرأ أثناء الممارسة، خاصةً مع احتدام المشاعر. أتعامل مع الـ»بي دي إس إم» بفهمٍ لأنه ينبغي أن يكون الحبّ والتعاطف أساسًا لعملية الاستسلام للألم، وبذلك أخلق مساحة أو أنفتح للحبّ.

إن الاهتمام برعاية ما بعد وقوع الألم يُعَدّ استكمالًا للعملية. يمكن لذلك أن يحدث بطُرُقٍ بسيطة جدًا مثل الاحتضان، التأكّد ممّا إذا كان الآخر يرغب في شرب الماء، مشاهدة فيلمٍ معًا، مشاركة عناق أو حتى مشاركة سيجارة حشيش. يمكن لهذه الرعاية أن تمتثل لأيّ ما كانت عليه لغة حبّك المُختارة. مع إدراك أنّ جروحًا قد فُتِحَت، تُعَدّ هذه المساحة من الاحتواء ضرورية من أجل استكمال عملية التعافي. إنّه أكبر درسٍ في ممارسة التعاطف وتعلّم كيف تحتوي شريكك/ شريكتك حقًا، نظرًا لحساسية تمييع الحدود الفاصلة بين الألم والمتعة. بهذه الطريقة، يصبح الـ»بي دي إس إم» أحد أشكال أعمال الرعاية بالنسبة لي.

بعد ممارسة جنسية فيها ممارسات «بي دي إس إم»، أشعر بصفاء ذهني وهدوء يَضَعاني في مساحة إبداعية عظيمة ويمكّناني روحيًا. مشاهدة الألم يتحوّل آنيّاً لشيء آخر هي أشبه بتجربة سحرية. وبالمثل، تجربة الـ»بي دي إس إم» المحرِّرة على المستوى الشخصي تسمح لوادجيت بالوصول إلى المعرفة المُسبَقة والحكمة والصفاء الذهني مما يساعدها في واجباتها كفتاة قمر في مواجهة الأبوية الأفريقية.

وُلِدَت «فتيات القمر» أثناء عملي كمديرة لـ»دراما كوينز»، وهي منظمة فنّية شبابية ناشطة في غانا. منذ تأسيسنا في 2016، استخدمنا وسائط فنّية مختلفة كجزءٍ من عملنا الناشطي النسوي والبيئي والعموم- أفريقي. استخدمنا الشِعر والقصص القصيرة والمسرح والأفلام والموسيقى لمناقشة قضايا مثل الفساد والأبوية والتدهور البيئي ورهاب المثلية الجنسية. ناقَشَت أعمالنا المسرحية الافتتاحية مثل «خَيّاطة شارع سان فرانسيس» و»حتى يفيق أحدهم» مشكلة ثقافة الاغتصاب في مجتمعاتنا. كما يُزعم أن «مثلنا تمامًا» كانت من أوائل الانتاجات المسرحية في غانا التي تناقش بشكل مباشر قضية رهاب المثلية الجنسية المتغلغلة في البلد. كما ساهمت «جامعات غانا الكويرية»، وهي ورشة لصناعة الأفلام الكويرية لتدريب صنّاع الأفلام الأفارقة، في تدريب صنّاع أفلام من غانا ونيجيريا وجنوب أفريقيا وأوغاندا. وعُرِضَت الأفلام المصنوعة في الورشة في مهرجانات، مثل فيلم «فتاة رضيعة: قصة شخص بيني الجنس». ولذلك، فإنّ الانتقال إلى وسيط الروايات المصوّرة هو تطوّر طبيعي.

منذ حوالي سبع سنوات، بدأتُ بكتابة رواية لم أكملها أبدًا عن حياة أربع نساء. في عام 2018، فتحت «مبادرة المجتمع المفتوح لغرب إفريقيا» (OSIWA) فرصة مِنحة أطلقت إنتاج المشروع وتحوّلت روايتي غير المكتملة إلى فتيات القمر. هناك جزءان من فتيات القمر، يتكوّن كلّ منهما من ستّة فصول. الكُتّاب والمحرّرون المساهمون في الموسم الأول هم سوهايدا دراماني، وتسيدي كان تاماكلوي، وجورج هانسون، ووانلوف كوبولور. كتّاب الموسم الثاني هم يابا أرما ونادية أهيدجو وأنا. قام الفنان الغاني كيسوا وستوديو «أنيماكس إف واي بي»، وهو ستوديو رسوم متحرّكة وتصميمات وتأثيرات بصرية، بالرسوم التوضيحية للشخصيات وصياغتها مفاهيميًا.

لقد كانت كتابة فتيات القمر، بين 2018 و2022، عملَ حبٍّ بالنسبة لي، بل بالأحرى، عمل من أجل التحرّر. أهدف أن أكون مجدِّدة في الشكل والأسلوب: لقد اهتممت بتحويل أنماطٍ أخرى من الكتابة، مثل القصص القصيرة والشِعر، لتلائم بنية القصص المصوّرة. تستهدف فتيات القمر مناقشة القضايا الكبرى وتكريم النشطاء الموجودين في الحياة الحقيقية، من خلال إدماج الرسومات والنصوص، كما يحدث في القصص المصوّرة عادةً. قراري بمركزة النساء الكوير كبطلات خارقات، وهو أمر نادر الحدوث في هذا النوع من الفن، أصبح له معنى أكبر بكثير عندما بدأ يتطوّر أمر خطير في غانا في عام 2021. 

شهد العام الماضي تصاعد في وتيرة العنف ضد مجتمع الميم عين في غانا، والتي بدأت بإغلاق أحد مراكز مجتمع الميم عين. أعقب ذلك اعتقالات تعسفية وسجن أشخاص مشكوك في انتمائهم للطيف الكويري، كذلك أشخاص متّهمين بالدفع بـ»أجندة مثلية». تُوِّج ذلك بتقديم مشروع قانون ضد الميم عين في البرلمان الغاني تحت إسم «حقوق الإنسان الجنسية اللائقة وقِيَم الأسرة الغانية». يُزعم أن هذا المشروع هو أكثر مشاريع القوانين توحشًا ضد الميم عين كان قد صيغ في المنطقة، وقد أتى لاحقًا على محاولات سابقة في بلاد مثل نيجيريا وأوغندا وكينيا. 

أتذكّر بمنتهى الوضوح أول مرّة قرأت فيها مسودة مشروع القانون. لقد كانت ليلة جمعة، والتي عادةً ما أستريح أو أحتفل فيها بعد أسبوع عمل طويل. لحسن الحظ، سُرِّبت المسودّة وتمّت مشاركتها معي على مجموعة واتساب. أثناء القراءة، تسلّل إليّ شعور عميق بالخوف والتوجّس مما أفسد ليلة استراحتي. 

اقترح المشروع معاقبة أيّة مناصرة للميم عين بالسجن من خمس لعشرة سنوات، وبتغريم وحبس أي شخص يُعرّف نفسه باعتباره مثلي أو مثلية أو عابر أو عابرة جنسيًا أو ينتمي لأية فئات جنسية أو/وجندرية غير نمطية، إلا إذا «تراجع» وقَبِل الخضوع لعلاج تصحيحي. في مسودة مشروع القانون، حتى اللاجنسيين جُرِّموا. انقضّ مشروع القانون على جميع الحرّيات الأساسية: حرّية الفكر وحرّية الوجود وحرّية أن يتمسّك الشخص بحقيقته ويعيش بها. انقضّ مشروع القانون أيضًا على منصّات التواصل الاجتماعي والفنّ. لو مُرِّر هذا المشروع، ستصبح فتيات القمر عملاً أدبياً محظوراً. ما تقدّم به مشروع القانون كان شرًا خالصًا وبعيد المدى، لقد صُدِمت لدرجة الاكتئاب من عمق الكراهية التي صُنِع منها هذا المشروع. أثناء تصفّحي موقع «تويتر» تلك الليلة، وجدتُ انعكاسًا للرعب الذي شعرت به بداخلي. لقد كان هناك بثًا مباشرًا للمشاعر، حيثُ كان يتفاعل الناس فوريًا مع ما يقرأونه: من عدم تصديق إلى رعب إلى خيبة أمل شديدة وشعور بالأسف عندما أدركنا المدى الواسع الذي رغب المشروع في الانقضاض عليه. البعض غرّدوا عن استعدادهم لجمع ما لديهم والرحيل عن البلاد. بعدها، وكعادة الغانيين، تحوّل الأسف والخوف لدعابة. ومن الدعابة أتى الحماس لتصعيد المقاومة. 

لذلك، فالعمل مستمرّ. لقد صنعتُ فتيات القمر لتوفير شكلٍ بديلٍ من التعليم، ولتوفير المعرفة حيثُ قمَعَتها أبوية عنيفة، ولخلق مساحة ظهور لمجتمع الميم عين حيثُ تمّ محوه. من الضروري أيضًا أن يحصل الـ»بي دي إس إم» الأفريقي على منصّة لإظهاره حيثُ أنّ الكثير من الـ»بي دي إس إم» المُمثَّل أبيض. إن المتعة الجنسية، سواء من خلال الـ»بي دي إس إم» أو غيره، مثلها مثل أنماط الحبّ اللامغاير جنسيًا، تتخطى العرق والقارّة، فالمتعة الجنسية وتنوّع خبراتها قديمة بقِدَم الزمن.

Ghosts Of Girlhood

by Akua Antiwiwaa

There is an old, hazy picture laying in front of me. In it I am dressed in all white, from the pearl beads fastened into my hair and tucked against my ears, to the ones that trail loosely around my tiny wrists. (...)

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artwork: “Cultura Negra” [Black Culture] by Astrid Milena González Quintero

The Forum is a live example of what the bigger WE can do. We go to the Forum, we are seeds, we then get sowed. This we have to celebrate.
- Sara Abu Ghazal, Lebanon

Thank you, Ángela and Pilar.
 

Yannia Sofía Garzón Valencia I am a Black woman and a community weaver. I live in Santander de Quilichao in Cauca, Colombia. I am interested in the creative processes that organize sustainable collective life. I like exchanging thoughts and cooking, investigating and analyzing, planting seeds and learning from plants, reading and playing. I am currently coordinating the observatory of gender-based violence against afro-descendant communities in Colombia (@VigiaAfro).

The three of us were “sharing” the afternoon in a neighborhood south of Bogota. 

 There was an unusually large green playing area and we sat on little wooden stools under an elderberry tree. We were finally experiencing that other form of love – that pleasure of being together and listening to each other. For me, these kinds of chats are among the expressions of love that life had only recently allowed me to enjoy. I had not known this other form of love – the kinds found outside workshops, activist spaces, classrooms, or workplaces – to be possible. Yet we three friends spent the afternoon amongst ourselves and we did not pretend to be blind to the color of our respective skins. Rather, it was a lived factor that allowed us to intimately discuss the similarities and differences in our childhood and youthful experiences.
 
Those chats were unrelated to any upcoming activities of the Black movement in Colombia, but they still nourish me and acquire new meanings. Our closeness was woven through coming together, recognizing each other, and identifying the uniqueness of our liberations. And by realizing there is not just one but many paths to liberation – those paths we inhabited every time we said “no” and rebelled. Far from feeling discomfort, we met in an authenticity made of weakness and strength, one which brought us closer instead of separating us.
 
Our purpose on that beautiful afternoon was to just be – to have an awareness of simply being amongst ourselves. We walked through our pasts so that the memories that stayed with us were those we decided to keep as ours, and not those that fear let through and found a place for. We remembered exact fragments of TV shows, and sang songs written by artists who had taught us about loving well, hating well, cursing like the worst villain, and suffering like the best leading lady. 
 
We told each other about our school pranks, and what remained in our subconscious after being exposed to the many ways the media repeats the same thing – after the teachers and nuns at school overexposed us to stories so that we would identify with and appropriate Cinderella’s aspirations for our own lives. This would set the tone for the rest of our story: the drama of the impoverished and diminished girl who is yet to achieve her full value through an act that redeems her condition. And that act can only be brought about by the gaze of a male who, at the very least, is white, hence deserving of what is between our thighs – his “main aspiration” – and the “perfect realization of our dreams,” which we are told should then be our main aspiration.
 
There were three of us there that afternoon. Each had been brought up in a different part of the country, but it was fascinating that we could all still quote fragments and situations from songs and soap operas that often – as we realized by getting to know each other – shared codes or symbols that were replicated, with a few variations, in our homes, in our first relationships, and in our neighborhoods and schools. Brought up by “dramas” (is that what that very successful genre is called?) where the more you suffer, the more you deserve, the issue of “how and in which situations it is acceptable and legitimate to suffer” becomes an important mandate on how the person who suffers should be seen, what they should do, and whom they should be. Some of us managed to liberate ourselves and “learn” a definition of love that could only be learnt in adulthood, shattering illusions, and accepting natural sin. And becoming aware of the industrial production of a virgin, which we may refuse to look like as she has no place in our understanding, and the disappointment this alienation brings.
 

After singing, we reviewed our early sexual explorations. I never thought that most people experienced them before the age of nine and that even in adulthood, those experiences, those memories, remain a heavy burden. Even today, in thousands of places, millions of girls and boys see their innocence curtailed by lack of trust and the ignorance we present them with when they try to explore their bodies. Blaming curiosity is a most efficient control mechanism. We went back to the brief conversations we had when we changed the history of our lives from cursed Black beings to a perspective that rebirthed us. We remembered how many of our aunts and female cousins left their homes, their core, their roots, to seek a future outside, elsewhere.
 

The future comes with a price: it demands that those relationships that marked our childhood are reshaped and confined to oblivion. They are our foundations, but they are not relevant if we want to move ahead. For us, advancing was to learn by heart what we do to ourselves with the opportunities we find elsewhere. That it is elsewhere, and not within us, that opportunities lie, that we are available, that we need to be outside. However, for many of our aunts and female cousins, the few opportunities to enroll and stay in an evening class or take a sabbatical from domestic work were paid for by becoming the first sexual experience of relatives living in the future. A future for which others before them had also paid for, and whose price they had already forgotten. The demand for this payment arrived with the same inevitability as a public utility service bill. We will not take up that legacy.
 
In Colombia and Latin America, there was an etiquette manual called La urbanidad de Carreño (Carreño’s Etiquette Manual). It was mandatory reading until the 90s in both public and private schools. The manual conditioned how bodies were perceived and my mother, taken in and brought up by Carmelite nuns, knew it by heart. The first time I read it I had to stop more than once to rub my stomach, which hurt from laughing so much. It has ridiculous instructions such as: take a shower with your eyes closed and turn off the lights to wear your nightclothes. Different chapters address how one is to behave at home, in the street, and during a dinner or lunch party – in short, the norms of good taste and etiquette. The ethical core of good citizens was the urbanity that allowed one to distance oneself from rural life. The same manual indicated that shouting a greeting to an acquaintance on the other side of the street was indecorous; good manners dictate that you must cross the street. By the same token, men must remove their coats and place them over puddles of water if accompanying a woman whose shoes should not get wet. I thought about greeting someone across a river, and how it is so hot where we live that we don’t require coats. 
 

"She learned that to care for her belly, she needed to keep her tissues warm, to avoid the cold that comes through the soft spot on the top of the head, through the feet, the ears, so it would not hurt particularly at moontime. For that, you need to be careful about what you eat and what you don’t eat, how you dress and how you walk, as all that has to do with girls’ health. The woman elder says that, from her devoted grandfather, she learnt that cramps became more common when houses no longer had floors made of mud and/or wood. When concrete and tiles came, when the material making up the house allowed the cold to come in through the feet, tension also grew in the belly tissue."

The manual’s author, Mr. Carreño is the opposite of the grandfather of a woman elder born in Turbo. She told me once that her grandfather was a wise man, that he told her about birthing and how to take care of her body. She learned that to care for her belly, she needed to keep her tissues warm, to avoid the cold that comes through the soft spot on the top of the head, through the feet, the ears, so it would not hurt, particularly at moontime. For that, you need to be careful about what you eat, how you dress, and how you walk, as all that has to do with a girl’s health. The woman elder said that, from her devoted grandfather, she learnt that cramps became more common when houses no longer had floors made of mud and/or wood. When concrete and tiles came, when the material making up the house allowed the cold to come in through the feet, tensions in the belly tissue also grew.
 
Surprised again. Such a distance between Don Carreño and the wise grandfather in terms of being aware of life – as distant as the mandates of proper behavior that stifle your impulses and senses, even the most common sense that values health. At that moment, I was able to understand one of the many ways that concrete obstructs the earth’s breathing, and our own as part of her. I had not realized there was, and still is, the architecture and materials for taking care of our bodies. In Colombia, as well as in other countries, the materials used to make houses are taken as indicators of multidimensional poverty. A house built with concrete moves the home away from being considered poor. This is just one disappointing example of how progress pushes us to abandon the relationship between our environment and our body. Good taste and urbanity pushes us outside: to move forward, they lie, you have to go out there.
 
It bothered us to realize that neither our mothers nor fathers had spoken to us about menstruation, except when the brown stain had already smeared our knickers. They failed to preserve us from the shame that was supposed to be a natural feeling once menstruation had come. Along with menstruation came the belly cramps often endured in silence, because there was work to be done; some cramps were due to cysts, hematomas, or fibroids that killed the grandmothers who had discovered and forgotten the healing treatments, and then were forgotten themselves. That our mothers and fathers’ breaths turned colder and colder, but the Outside froze familiarity and, instead of warming our bellies, passed judgment with advice similar to warnings of the only thing men care about. This was applied to all men – legitimizing the plundering role of the phallus, as if its only option was to take what we have between our legs. The multiple versions of that truth were replaced by an unmovable and deeply-set naturalization: telling all women that we must preserve ourselves for one of them, for the one that will first introduce his penis inside us, for the one that will give us something in exchange, and that we are women only because we aspire to and let him put it inside us. As a girl I explored little penises and clitorises and, in between games among girls, the question was whispered: whose turn is it to play man and whose turn is it to play woman? And the answer: the beginnings of little orgasms, regardless of with whom. I guess the same must happen among male bodies.
 
The experiences and explorations of our aunts, female cousins, and acquaintances focused on the body and its nudity as taboo. They avoided expressing and naming it, to the point of covering it up, assigning new names to its excreting, expelling, procreating, and, just for us women, its receiving functions. Once I heard a woman elder in a workshop say that when she was living with her grandmother, her memory was of this old woman sleeping with one eye open, the other closed, and a rifle by the mattress. The softest night sound was enough for her to grab the rifle and aim. This is a common situation in the Colombian Pacific, where some harmful behaviors are normalized. Married and single men who like a young woman would enter her room at night – we call it gateada. It was a risk: if those with authority in the home realized what was happening, abuse or not, the man could be hurt or even killed.
 
This practice of taking the law into one’s own hands has failed to put an end to gateadas, even today. In that same workshop – as I kept telling my sisters – other participants said that neither they nor their mothers would leave their daughters alone with their fathers at bath time, unless the girls were wearing underwear. I remembered then my father’s voice saying, when I was seven, your mother never let me bathe you. After sharing this, another woman responded that, in contrast, her father would give her a bath naked in the courtyard of her childhood home until she turned seven, and then her eldest brother did it until she turned nine. She never felt anything strange in the way they looked at her; for them, it was just another task in caring for the most spoiled child in the home. She remembered being seen for what she was: a daughter child, a sister child, who did not like the water.
 
Once again childhoods, yesterday and today. We were surprised by that story, and it comforted us. Even I had seen things being different elsewhere; my daughter’s father bathed her in the tub until she was almost two. Even before turning two, he would give her a few soft slaps upwards on her bum, to make it bigger, as he said. Here, we could also speak of other dimensions of how we construct our bodies, but that is a different story. For me, it was one care task, among many, that we agreed to divide between ourselves before the baby was born. And the decision to not see every man as a lurking rapist does not mean they are not rapists, but instead that they can stop being so. There are also men and male bodies that have been brought up to never be rapists.
 
This is still happening. It happened to a friend of ours and to my own daughter. I thought: how can it be that some women are coupled with men they cannot trust to care for their daughters? I am sure that my mum loved my dad. And even though we seldom speak about the woman she was before becoming my mum, I know her experiences of abuse cannot be compared to the brutality and over-tolerance of those of today. But that is still a decision many women in many places make, and that leads to other questions. How often, how repeated were cases of abuse in our extended families to make women openly, or in indiscernible ways, forbid their partners from bathing their daughters? Is it related to the media overexposure we are subject to almost from birth? What makes family ties blur and turn into just bodily-satisfaction exchanges? Is it the proximity to urban values that cares so much about the right shapes of female bodies as objects of desire, and pushes male bodies to behave like owners and conquerors, fulfilling the mandate to mimic media representations so they feel safe in their identity? Is it concrete and other codes, like the Carreño etiquette, that sustain it? Is it encouraged by the need to forget certain relationships as the price of progress, that insistence on “doing for the outside?” What happens to what we learned in our times, those of us who, in secret or not, undertook sexual explorations as children? Were they erased by guilt? Were they the seeds of mistrust and shame in nudity? Were they the seeds of mistrust and shame of being inside oneself? Indeed, aren’t these learnings possibilities to trust in, understand the nudity of bodies as part of respecting oneself and others? These questions emerge in trusted spaces, where the fear to say what one thinks and feels is driven away by the intention of accompaniment. I imagine how many of us there are in all corners of this planet and I am certain these are not new questions, that messages in them are repeated, and that we find ourselves living the answers.

Ya está disponible nuestro programa final del Club de Cine Feminista: “Films from Nuestramérica” es una serie de películas sobre realidades feministas latinoamericanas / centroamericanas curada por Alejandra Laprea (Venezuela).

MIRAR

OURs y amistades en el Espacio de Solidaridad Feminista

✉️ Solo con invitación

📅 Martes 11 de marzo de 2025
🕒 De 02:00 a 04:00 p.m., EST
🏢 Chef's Kitchen Loft with Terrace, 216 East 45th St 13th Floor New York

Organiza: Consorcio Observatorio sobre la Universalidad de los Derechos (OURS)