Communicating Desire

and Other Embodied Political Praxes

Communicating Desire

Host: We tend to think about communicating desire as something that is limited to the private intimacy of the bedroom and our personal relationships. But can we also think of this kind of communication as a structure, a praxis that informs our work, and how we are, how we do in the world?

Lindiwe
I believe that unfortunately in the past, expressing your sexuality has been limited. You were allowed to express it within the confines of your marriage, which was permitted, there have always been taboo and stigmas attached to expressing it any other way. When it comes to communicating, obviously the fact that certain stigmas are attached to expressing your sexuality or expressing your desire makes it a lot harder to communicate that in the bedroom or intimately with your partner. From my personal experience, I do believe that obviously if I feel more comfortable expressing myself outside of the bedroom on other matters or other topics, it’s easier for me to build that trust, because you understand conflict resolution with that particular person, you understand exactly how to make your communication special towards that particular person. It’s not easy. It’s something that is consistently done throughout whatever your engagement is, whether it’s your relationship or whether it’s casual and just in the moment. But I believe that confidence outside can definitely translate to how you communicate your desire.

Manal
Since childhood, a woman is raised with that, “you’re not allowed to talk about your body, you’re not allowed to talk about your desire,” which puts a heavy responsibility on women, especially girls in their teens when they need to express themselves and talk about these issues. So for me I think this is a big problem. You know, I have been married for more than 25 years, but still, until now, I cannot talk about my desires. I cannot say what I want or what I prefer, because it’s like I’m not allowed to go beyond this line. It’s like haram, despite it being my right. This is the case for all my friends, they just can’t express themselves in the right way.

Louise
Personally, I find that expressing our desires, my desires, however that expression comes in hand, has to do with the other, and the gaze that the other would have on me. So this is also something that we can link to cinema. And the gaze I would have on myself as well: what I think I am as an individual, but also what society expects of me and my sexuality. In the past, I somehow did the analogy between what happens in the bedroom and what happens in the workplace, because there is sometimes this dynamic of power, whether I want it or not. And oftentimes, verbal communication is harder than we think. But when it comes to representation in film, that’s a totally different game. We are very far away from what I guess all of us here would like to see on screen when it comes to just communicating sexual desires inside or outside the bedroom. 

Online and Embodied

Host: We can think about the digital world as embodied: while it might be virtual, it is not less real. And this was made clear in the context of AWID’s feminist realities festival, which took place entirely online. What does it mean then to talk about sexuality, collectively, politically, in online spaces? Do we navigate virtual spaces with our bodies and affects, and in this case, what are the different considerations? What does it do to communication and representation?

Lindiwe
Social media makes you feel community-based. When you express what it is that you want or like, there is someone who’s either going to agree or disagree, but those who do agree make you feel that you belong to a community. So it’s easier to throw it out into the universe, or for others to see, and potentially not get as much judgment. And I say this very loosely because sometimes, depending on what it is that you’re expressing, it either will get you vilified or celebrated. But when it comes to the bedroom, there is an intimacy and almost a vulnerability that is exposing you and different parts of you that is not as easy to give your opinion on. When it comes to expressing your desire, speaking it and saying it and maybe putting a Tweet or a social media post, or even liking and reading other communities that are same-minded is a lot easier than telling your partner, “this is how I want to be pleasured” or “this is how what I want you to do next,” because of the fear of rejection. But not only that, just the vulnerability aspect – allowing yourself to be bare enough to let the other person see into what you are thinking, feeling, and wanting – I think this is where the difference would come in for me personally. I feel it is a lot more community-based on social media, and it’s easier to engage in discourse. Whereas in the bedroom, you don’t want to necessarily kill the moment. But I think that also kind of helps you understand going forward, depending on the relationship with the person, how you would engage thereafter. So I always know that if I try to communicate something and I fail to do so in the moment, I can always try to bring it up outside of that moment and see what the reaction would be so I know how to approach it going forward.

Louise
You know the question in films is, I don’t know if the male gaze is done intentionally or not. Like we don’t really know that. What we know is that the reason why sexuality in general has been so heternormative and focused on penetration and not giving any space for women to actually ask for anything in films, is because most of the people who have been working in this industry and making decisions in terms of, you know, storytelling and editing have been white men. So rape revenge is this very weird film genre that was birthed in the 70s, and half of the story would be that a woman is being raped by one or multiple people, and in the other half, she would get her revenge. So usually she would murder and kill the people who have raped her, and sometimes other people next to them. At the beginning of the birth of this genre and for 30 years at least, those films were written, produced, and directed by men. This is why we also want so much representation. A lot of feminists and pioneers in queer filmmaking also used the act of filming in order to do that and to reclaim their own sexuality. I’m thinking about Barbara Hammer, who’s a feminist and queer pioneer in experimental cinema in the U.S. where she decided to shoot women having sex on 16mm, and by doing so reclaimed a space within the narrative that was exposed in film at that time. And there is also then the question of invisibilization: we know now, because of the internet and sharing knowledge, that women and queer filmmakers have been trying and making films since the beginning of cinema. We only realize it now that we have access to databases and the work of activists and curators and filmmakers.

Resisting Colonization

Host: And this opens up the conversation on the importance of keeping our feminist histories alive. The online worlds have also played a crucial role in documenting protests and resistance. From Sudan to Palestine to Colombia, feminists have taken our screens by storm, challenging the realities of occupation, capitalism, and oppression. So could we speak of communicating desire – the desire for something else – as decolonization?

Manal
Maybe because my village is just 600 residents and the whole village is one family – Tamimi – there are no barriers between men and women. We do everything together. So when we began our non-violent resistance or when we joined the non-violent resistance in Palestine, there was no discussion whether women should participate or not. We took a very important role within the movement here in the village. But when other villages and other places began to join our weekly protests, some men thought that if these women participate or join the protests, they will fight with soldiers so it will be like they’re easy women. There were some men who were not from the village who tried to sexually harass the women. But a strong woman who is able to stand in front of a soldier can also stand against sexual harassment. Sometimes, when other women from other places join our protest, they are shy at first; they don’t want to come closer because there are many men. If you want to join the protest, if you want to be part of the non-violent movement, you have to remove all these restrictions and all these thoughts from your mind. You have to focus on just fighting for your rights. Unfortunately, the Israeli occupation realizes this issue. For example, the first time I was arrested, I wear the hijab so they tried to take it off; they tried to take off my clothes, in front of everybody. There were like 300-400 people and they tried to do it. When they took me to the interrogation, the interrogator said: “we did this because we want to punish other women through you. We know your culture.” So I told him: “I don’t care, I did something that I believe in. Even if you take all my clothes off, everybody knows that Manal is resisting.”

Lindiwe
I think even from a cultural perspective, which is very ironic, if you look at culture in Africa, prior to getting colonized, showing skin wasn’t a problem. Wearing animal skin and/or hides to protect you, that wasn’t an issue and people weren’t as sexualized unless it was within context. But we conditioned ourselves to say, “you should be covered up” and the moment you are not covered up you are exposed, and therefore it will be sexualized. Nudity gets sexualized as opposed to you just being naked; they don’t want a little girl to be seen naked. What kind of society have we conditioned ourselves to be if you’re going to be sexualizing someone who is naked outside of the context of a sexual engagement? But environment definitely plays a big role because your parents and your grannies and your aunts say “no, don’t dress inappropriately,” or “no, that’s too short.” So you hear that at home first, and then the moment you get exposed outside, depending on the environment, whether it’s a Eurocentric or more westernized environment to what you are used to, then you are kind of free to do so. And even then, as much as you are free, there’s still a lot that comes with it in terms of catcalling and people still sexualizing your body. You could be wearing a short skirt, and someone feels they have the right to touch you without your permission. There is so much that is associated with regulating and controlling women’s bodies, and that narrative starts at home. And then you go out into your community and society and the narrative gets perpetuated, and you realize that you get sexualized by society at large too, especially as a person of color.

Resistance as Pleasure

Host: And finally, in what ways can our resistance be more than what we are allowed? Is there a place for pleasure and joy, for us and our communities?

Louise
Finding pleasure as resistance and resistance in pleasure, first for me there is this idea of the guerrilla filmmaking or the action of filming when you’re not supposed to or when someone told you not to, which is the case for a lot of women and queer filmmakers in the world right now. For example, in Lebanon, which is a cinema scene that I know very well, most of the lesbian stories that I’ve seen were shot by students in very short formats with “no production value” as the west would say – meaning with no money, because of the censorship that happens on an institutional level, but also within the family and within the private sphere. I would think that filming whatever, but also filming pleasure and pleasure within lesbian storytelling is an act of resistance in itself. A lot of times, just taking a camera and getting someone to edit and someone to act is extremely hard and requires a lot of political stance.

Lindiwe
I have a rape support group. I’m trying to assist women to reintegrate themselves from a sexual perspective: wanting to be intimate again, wanting to not let their past traumas influence so much how they move forward. It’s not an easy thing, but it’s individual. So I always start with understanding your body. I feel the more you understand and love and are proud of it, the more you are able to allow someone else into that space. I call it sensuality training, where I get them to start seeing themselves as not sexual objects, but as objects of pleasure and desire that can be interchangeable. So you’re worthy of receiving as well as giving. But that’s not only from a psychological point of view; it is physical. When you get out of the shower, you get out of the bath, and you’re putting lotion on your body, look at every part of your body, feel every part of your body, know when there are changes, know your body so well that should you get a new pimple on your knee, you are so aware of it because just a few hours ago it wasn’t there. So things like that where I kind of get people to love themselves from within, so they feel they are worthy of being loved in a safe space, is how I gear them towards claiming their sexuality and their desire.

Manal
You know we began to see women coming from Nablus, from Jerusalem, from Ramallah, even from occupied 48, who have to drive for 3-4 hours just to come to join the protests. After that we tried to go to other places, talk with women, tell them that they don’t have to be shy, that they should just believe in themselves and that there is nothing wrong in what we are doing. You can protect yourself, so where is the wrong in participating or in joining? Once I asked some women, “why are you joining?” And they said, “if the Tamimi women can do it, we can do it also.” To be honest I was very happy to hear this because we were like a model for other women. If I have to stand for my rights, it should be all my rights, not just one or two. We can’t divide rights.

Conferencia Internacional de Seguimiento sobre la Financiación para el Desarrollo, Doha, Qatar

• La Conferencia de Doha se propuso examinar la aplicación del Consenso de Monterrey. Retomó las seis áreas de la financiación para el desarrollo, pero los progresos sustantivos alcanzados fueron mínimos.
• Si bien el Documento Final de Doha fue más allá que el de Monterrey en cuanto a la igualdad de género, tampoco avanzó lo suficiente. En su declaración, el WWG subrayó que los compromisos de la Declaración de Doha en materia de igualdad de género solo tendrán sentido si se abordan decididamente las cuestiones sistemáticas que subyacen a la pobreza y la distribución desigual de poder y recursos en la economía política global.
• Además de la conferencia central, en Doha se desarrolló un foro paralelo de la sociedad civil organizado por el Doha NGO Group for Financing for Development [Grupo de ONG en Doha por la Financiación para el Desarrollo, DNG en inglés] que exigió cambios estructurales en la economía global, así como políticas que dieran prioridad a los derechos de los pueblos, respetaran y promovieran los derechos humanos.

لماذا عليّ تعبئة الاستطلاع؟

Accessibility and Health

Continuez à explorer Incarnations transnationales

Cette édition du journal, en partenariat avec Kohl : a Journal for Body and Gender Research (Kohl : une revue pour la recherche sur le corps et le genre) explorera les solutions, propositions et réalités féministes afin de transformer notre monde actuel, nos corps et nos sexualités.

Explorer

Lancement du processus préparatoire intergouvernemental de la troisième Conférence sur le financement du développement, octobre 2014

• Un processus préparatoire, co-facilité par l’ambassadeur guyanais George Wilfred Talbot et l’ambassadeur norvégien Geir O. Pedersen, a été instauré pour mener des discussions préliminaires relatives à la troisième Conférence sur le FdD prévue en juillet 2015 à Addis Abeba, en Éthiopie.

• Dans le cadre de ces préparations, deux séries de séances de fond informelles ont été organisées au siège  de l’ONU à New York  afin d’apporter des éléments d’information pouvant servir aux sessions de rédaction du futur document final.
•  À cette occasion, le WWG sur le FdD a été réactivé dans le but d’intégrer les perspectives féministes et de défense des droits des femmes aux discussions et délibérations, avant et pendant la troisième Conférence sur le FdD. À l’heure actuelle, le groupe est co-animé par l’AWID, Development Alternatives with Women for a New Era (DAWN) et la Feminist Task Force (FTF).
• Le WWG sur le FdD a prononcé deux déclarations  lors de la première série de sessions et présenté un document écrit lors de la seconde. Il a, dans les deux cas, souligné l’invisibilité des inégalités entre les genres dans ce processus préparatoire, tout comme celle de l’inclusion d’autres formes de discrimination et d’inégalité. Le travail du WWG met en lumière les rapports de pouvoir entre les genres et leurs points d’intersection avec d’autres catégories, telles que la race, le handicap, l’appartenance ethnique, l’âge, la richesse et l’identité sexuelle, ce qui accentue la répartition inégale des chances et des ressources dans toutes les sociétés de la planète.
•  Les organisations de la société civile se sont dites inquiètes de l’étroitesse de l’espace qui leur a été accordé pour prendre part aux deux sessions de fond informelles. Elles ont notamment évoqué le risque que l’espace de participation de la société civile aux négociations portant sur le document final de janvier 2015 ne soit lui aussi limité.

لتقوية صوتنا وقوتنا الجماعية لنصل لتمويل أكبر وأفضل للتنظيمات النسائية والنسوية وحركات الميم - عين وحلفائها/يفاتها عالمياً

La Convocatoria de Actividades enumera una lista de sugerencias para formatos y metodologías. Sé creativx y asegúrate de leer la sección «Lo que debes saber».

النمرة.

Women's Forum on Financing for Gender Equality

• The Forum took place on 10 July 2015 in Addis Ababa and convened feminists, grassroots women, gender advocates, academics and representatives of women’s rights organizations/networks with specific inputs by UN representatives and other policy makers.
• The objectives of the Women's Forum were to: share information on the state of play in the latest FfD negotiations; jointly analyze the FfD panorama and follow-up; build a common women’s rights positioning; and strategize on how to meaningfully and substantively engage from a feminist perspective at the Addis FfD Conference.
• The Women's Forum was organized by the Women's Working Group on FfD, in collaboration with FEMNET, African Women's Development Fund (AWDF) and the Post 2015 Women's Coalition with support from UN Women.
• Read the Women's Working Group reaction to the Addis Ababa Action Agenda

CSO FfD Forum

• The CSO FfD Forum took place in Addis Ababa on 11-12 July 2015 and aimed to: inform participating CSOs on the state of play of the official process and coordinate civil society participation in the 3rd FfD Conference; develop a collective CSO Forum Declaration as well as the CSO messages for the FfD Conference Roundtables, the CSO FfD Group-led side events and any other opportunities that might emerge; and plan and organize future areas of CSO engagement on Financing for Development, beyond the 3rd FfD Conference.
• Read the Declaration from the Addis Ababa Civil Society Forum on Financing for Development
• For more information, please visit the CSO FfD Group's website or contact the Addis Ababa CSO Coordinating Group (addiscoordinatinggroup@gmail.com).

The Third UN International Conference on Financing for Development

• The third Conference on Financing For Development took place in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, from 13-16 July 2015 and focused on: assessing the progress made in the implementation of the 2002 Monterrey Consensus and the 2008 Doha Declaration; addressing new and emerging issues, including in the context of the recent multilateral efforts to promote international development cooperation. Taking into account: the current evolving development cooperation landscape; the interrelationship of all sources of development finance; the synergies between financing objectives across the three dimensions of sustainable development (economic, social and environmental); and the need to support the United Nations development agenda beyond 2015; and reinvigorating and strengthening the financing for development follow-up process.
• The Addis Ababa Action Agenda was adopted on 15 July 2015 by Heads of State, Governments and High Representatives at the UN.
• The feeling however from developing countries, CSOs and more specifically women's organisations was that the Addis Ababa Action Agenda failed to meet the target. The Women's Working Group expressed its strong disappointment and demanded structural changes in the global economic governance and development architecture. Read their reaction to the outcome document. Hundreds of civil society organizations and networks from around the world also expressed deep concerns and reservations. Read their response to the outcome document.

Sobre o inquérito WITM

O inquérito global do WITM é um pilar fundamental da terceira edição da nossa investigação orientada para a ação: "Onde está o dinheiro para a organização feminista" (abreviado, "Onde está o dinheiro" ou WITM). Os resultados do inquérito serão aprofundados e explorados através de conversas profundas com ativistas e financiadores, e comparados com outras análises e investigações existentes sobre o estado do financiamento para feministas e para a igualdade de género globalmente

O relatório completo "Onde está o dinheiro para a organização feminista" será publicado em 2026.

Para mais informações sobre como a AWID tem chamado a atenção para o dinheiro a favor de e contra os movimentos feministas, consulte a nossa história do WITM e os nossos relatórios anteriores aqui.

Mango

I’ll admit it: when Angélica and Fabi invited me to curate a collection of erotic texts by black women, I didn’t know what curatorship was. I understood the erotic well, but curatorship... 

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• Rumbo a la Tercera Conferencia de Naciones Unidas sobre Financiación para el Desarrollo: viejas tensiones y nuevos desafíos emergen en sesión de negociación de Nicole Bidegain Ponte/DAWN (marzo de 2015)

• A geopolitical Analysis of Financing for Development, de Regions Refocus 2015 y Third World Network (TWN) con DAWN

• Zero Draft Language Map, de Regions Refocus

• Addis Ababa financing conference: Will the means undermine the goals? de RightingFinance