Mango

I’ll admit it: when Angélica and Fabi invited me to curate a collection of erotic texts by black women, I didn’t know what curatorship was. I understood the erotic well, but curatorship... 

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By Nkhensani Manabe

The conversation title "Pansexual, Gynasexual or Abrosexual? A dive into queerness, pleasure and sex positivity" gives one much to think about. Tiffany Kagure Mugo, author, educator and curator of HOLAAfrica, begins the discussion with a reading from Touch, a recently published collection of fiction and non-fiction essays on sex, sexuality and pleasure. In this excerpt, the author puts forward the idea that pleasure is constant and ongoing, it is to be found in everyday activities and is not confined to sexual intercourse.

This idea, that pleasure is as much a part of daily life as anything else, runs through the discussion, which also covers topics of desire, attraction and sexual orientation.

Early on, there is this sense of hope and possibility. Tiffany presents options and explains alternatives, giving us new language to speak about who we are, what we like, and how we want it. This is about desire and sex, but mostly it is about self-knowledge and empowerment. Tiffany speaks passionately about making decisions from a place of power: learning your own identity so that you are able to make the best choices for yourself. 

In a conversation that is open and free, representing the attitude that Tiffany would have us all adopt, we learn that knowledge about sex and sexuality is ever-changing, the boundaries are shifting. What we may have learned or, more importantly, been kept away from as children or adults is exactly where we should start unlearning and reprogramming. Tiffany notes that young people these days need tools to understand the experiences they are already having, a reminder to never underestimate what children and teenagers know about the kind of pleasure(s) they want to pursue in life.

The conversation opened my mind to something: knowing myself will help to build my confidence; I will be able to approach relationships with care not only for myself but for others, too. Learning the language of orientation, attraction, desire and pleasure will go towards deepening my future connections. I appreciated the space to think about this aspect of my life -- the private, intimate parts that I don’t access often. Tiffany’s enthusiasm about pleasure and identity pushed my own boundaries, allowing me to entertain new personal possibilities. 

The idea of learning how to make holistic connections is still not common. Largely, we live in a culture of instant and fleeting connections. There is hardly any time to truly reflect on how and why we are seeking relationship or partnership -- at least, not until a moment of crisis. 

Of course, there are selected spaces that welcome questions and discussions, such as the AWID Crear Résister Transform Festival and other free-thinking online platforms or publications -- but access to information from a helpful, non-judgemental source is something people are still trying to figure out. This may be in part because people are not confident in the language of sexuality and pleasure. 

The notion of language and tools repeats itself throughout Tiffany’s presentation. Tiffany and her colleagues are doing the work of talking, teaching and nurturing. Seeing what people need, where they are, what they want for themselves, and walking alongside them as they build their ideal worlds. Giving them new words and definitions to help give shape to their identities at different stages of their lives. 
These are the kinds of conversations that are necessary, even in a society that has myriad healthcare messages broadcast with varying degrees of details at any given moment. Sometimes people need to be brought back from the big picture moments and encouraged to learn about their individual opinions and desires. This is what Tiffany’s talk does: it gives people a space in the larger puzzle. 

A highlight of Tiffany’s talk was the section on the different types of attraction. 

Sexual -- as in, the express desire to have intercourse with a person or people
Sensual -- the desire to touch a person or people, to be physically close without necessarily including intercourse
Romantic -- the desire to date or be in a relationship with a person or people
Platonic -- the desire to build close friendships 
Aesthetic -- the desire to look at and be pleased by the appearance of a person or people

These five types or levels of attraction offer a shorthand for desire and pleasure, and help to contextualise the different kinds of pleasure people can experience. 

Thinking of attraction beyond the physical or sexual offers a new perspective on connection. It is a chance to take the pressure off relationships, which opens up opportunities for different, more enlightened and fulfilling partnerships. 

This freedom and knowledge that Tiffany presents is a roadmap to the future. The presentation offered a new perspective on what is possible. 

As the opening excerpt states, pleasure is ongoing. In light of Tiffany’s discussion, it is also clear that it is dynamic and exciting. There is always more to know. 

This may be daunting at first, but on the other side of hesitation is hope, potential and freedom. 

Hospital

Hospitals are institutions, living sites of capitalism, and what gets played out when somebody is supposed to be resting is a microcosm of the larger system itself. 

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Querida y maravillosa persona:

Sé que estás muy cerca. Puedes sentirlo, ¿verdad?: cómo las cosas necesitan cambiar y cómo necesitas centrarte.

Esta es una carta para decirte que lo hagas. Elige tu sanación. Elige estar bien. Mejor que bien. Elige estar plenx, ser feliz. Llora a lágrima viva solo por tí y por nadie más. Elige cerrar la puerta ante el mundo y decirle «Vuelvo en 5 minutos». O en cinco días. O en cinco años.

O nunca.

Elige no hacerte cargo de todo. Elige no asumir nada. Porque nada de eso es tuyo. Nunca lo fue. Te dijeron desde que naciste que eran tuyos. Los problemas de tu familia. Los problemas de tus amantes. Los problemas de tus vecinxs. Los problemas del mundo. Ese susurro constante de que esos problemas te pertenecen. Que son tuyos. Tuyos para cargarlos, tuyos para llevarlos sobre los hombros. Tuyos para solucionarlos. 

Eso fue una mentira.
Un engaño 
         Un engaño de larga duración.
                                             Una estafa.

Los problemas del universo no son tuyos.

Los únicos problemas que son tuyos son los tuyos. Todxs lxs demás pueden irse de paseo. 

Permítete dejarlo todo y adentrarte en la selva. Hazte amigx de una ninfa vestida de margaritas, crea una biblioteca pequeña en las raíces de un árbol. Baila desnudx y aúlla a la luz de la luna. Conversa con Oshun en el lecho del río. 

            O simplemente tómate una taza de té cuando necesites un momento para respirar.

Permítete desaparecer en la niebla y reaparecer tres países más allá como unx misteriosx chocolaterx con un pasado dudoso y afición por capas espectaculares y cigarros puros.

            O deja de responder a las llamadas del trabajo durante los fines de semana.

Permítete nadar hasta una isla desierta con unx amante y vestirte solo con las cáscaras de los cocos que usaron para hacer el ron de coco que beben al atardecer. 

            O di que no cuando no tengas la capacidad de crear un espacio de contención para alguien.

Las opciones para sostenerte a ti mismx son infinitas. 

Hagas lo que hagas, debes saber que el mundo siempre seguirá girando. Por eso es bello y por eso duele.. No importa a quién o qué elijas por encima de tí mismx y de tu alma, el mundo siempre seguirá girando. 

Por lo tanto, elígete a tí mismx. 

Por la mañana, con la primera luz, elígete a tí mismx. Cuando sea la hora del almuerzo, o te den ganas de llorar durante las horas de trabajo, elígete a tí mismx.  Por la noche, cuando estés calentando las sobras porque no tuviste tiempo de volver a cocinar, elígete a vos mismx. Cuando la ansiedad te despierte y la existencia esté en silencio a las 3:45 am.

Elígete a tí mismx.

Cariños,
tu ninfa de la selva con capa espectacular.

كلمة العدد

فقدان الكلام

عندما يصبح عملنا المتجسّد مادةً ربحية في أيدي الأنظمة التي نسعى إلى إزالتها فلا عجب أنّ جنسانيّاتنا وملذّاتنا توضَع جانباً من جديد، لا سيّما أنّها ليست مُربِحة بما فيه الكفاية. لقد تساءلنا، في مواقف عدّة خلال إنتاج هذا العدد، ما الذي سيحدث إذا رفضنا مراعاة خدمات الرأسمالية الأساسية؟ لكن هل نجرؤ على هذا التساؤل وقد أنهكنا العالم؟ ربما يتمّ تجاهل جنسانيّاتنا بهذه السهولة لأنها لا تُعتَبَر أشكالاً من أشكال الرعاية. ربما ما نحتاجه هو أن نعيد تصوّر الملذّة كشكلٍ من أشكال الرعاية الجذرية، تكون أيضاً مناهضة للرأسمالية وللمؤسساتية.

اقرأ أكثر

Dearest Feminist community,

I am pleased to share with you one of my remarkable dates as feminist with disability. It was May 30, 2014 when we (the Nationwide Organization of Visually-Impaired Empowered Ladies NOVEL) participated in the Philippine Fashion Week Holiday 2014 for our white cane advocacy campaign.  Two ladies who are blind walked down the catwalk to promote the white cane as one of the symbols of gender equality, empowerment, full inclusion and equal participation of women and girls with visual impairment in society. 

Their walk in front of the crowd were extremely a nerve-wracking experience for me, as the proponent of our project with the Runway Productions (I enduringly waited for a year for its approval), knowing that they were not models, they were the crowned Ms. Philippines Vision and 1st Runner Up of 2013 Ms. Philippines on Wheels, Signs and Vision by Tahanang Walang Hagdanan, Inc. (House with No Steps). Also, they fell on their orientation and practiced the evening before the event and they didn’t have practice with professional models. Before the show started, I talked to them via mobile phone to boost their confidence and to pray together for God’s guidance. When they exited the catwalk, I breathed deeply while my tears were flowing. I was feeling euphoric because we did it despite the challenges we’ve been through! Our message to the world that women and girls with visual impairment can walk with dignity, freedom and independence on an equal basis with others, with the use of our assistive device - white canes was successfully delivered! We trended in social media and we were featured by television networks. 

My life as a feminist with disability started as a means to mend my broken spirit and to see a different path towards finding my life’s purpose after I became victim-survivor to a vicious acid attack in 2007  while I was waiting for a ride going home from office. My eyes were severely damaged, to the point that I became a woman with low vision.

I never knew how joyful and purposeful my life could be again until I met women leaders in the gender and disability movement who influenced me to keep going. Their words of encouragement attracted me and became the sweetest music to my ears. My broken heart leaped like a hummingbird in flight every time I think of them and feminism which stimulated me to partake in making difference for our invisible sisters with disabilities and to those who continue to experience discrimination. To date, I am consumed by the desire to be with the movement. I cannot hide my excitement whenever I submit project proposals to different stakeholders for our sisters with disabilities' empowerment, development and advancement; and to make representations in local, national and international conversations to amplify our voices even at my expense.

Unexpectedly, I was selected as our country’s female representative in the 2012 World Blind Union (WBU) General Assembly in Thailand even though I was a newcomer in the disability movement.  In the same year, I was elected as the only woman officer of the Philippine Blind Union (PBU) in its assembly. I was inspired to reach out, gather and empower our sisters with visual impairment on their rights and to know their intersecting issues. In 2013, we officially launched the Nationwide Organization of Visually-Impaired Empowered Ladies (NOVEL) to support the empowerment of our sisters with disabilities, build coalitions with cross-disability and women’s movements and promote gender and disability-inclusive development.

My participation as co-focal person of women with disabilities in our 2016 CEDAW Shadow Report submission convened by Women’s Legal and Human Rights Bureau (WLB) with the marginalized groups of women, opened many doors such as working with various women’s organizations and attending the 2017 Inclusion Days International in Berlin, Germany together with 3 Filipino women leaders with disabilities to share our good practices, mainly our engagement with the women’s movement in our country. 

My journey as feminist with disability has been an emotional roller coaster for me. It gave me  happiness and a sense of worth when I participated in promoting for our sisters with disabilities full inclusion, equal and effective participation in society, yet I felt frustrated and upset when I gave my all but I received negative remarks. Nevertheless, I feel that way because I am in love with the movement.    
I see my future working in solidarity with the movement to ensure that our sisters with and without disabilities can equally and fully enjoy and participate in society. 
 

Love lots, 
Gina Rose P. Balanlay
Feminist with disability
Philippines 

Sextoter comme une féministe : humour et révolution féministe numérique

par Chinelo Onwualu

Estamos comenzando un nuevo año: 2023. El COVID-19 continúa infectando y re infectando a muchas, muchas personas en todo el mundo. Estamos siendo testigos del resurgimiento de gobiernos de derecha y fascistas, incluso en lugares que quizás no esperábamos, como Suecia. La guerra, los conflictos armados y el aumento dramático de la militarización, el militarismo y el gasto militar están permitiendo la acumulación descomedida de capital por parte de unos pocos, con la participación de alianzas aparentemente "extrañas" que se arman, tanto de manera visible como invisible, donde las élites económicas y políticas del Norte y el Sur Global se están beneficiando más allá de nuestra imaginación más desenfrenada. Mientras tanto, nuestra gente y el medio ambiente natural pagan enormes costos y sufren todas las esperadas e inesperadas consecuencias.
 
Como todes ustedes y todes nosotres en AWID sabemos, les feministas en múltiples movimientos alrededor del mundo están resistiendo y organizándose contra las múltiples caras de la tiranía, creando estructuras alternativas, implementando estrategias de base y construyendo alianzas transnacionales. Estamos generando alegría, inspirándonos unes a otres, cantando y bailando dentro y en contra de la cultura predominante de muerte y cinismo que parece haber envuelto a gran parte del mundo.
 
Nosotres, el personal y la Junta Directiva de AWID, estamos más preparades e inspirades que nunca para enfrentar los desafíos, fortaleciendo nuestras relaciones con nuestra membresía y organizaciones socias, reuniéndonos y conociendo a quienes aún tenemos que conocer y hacer lo que hacemos mejor: apoyar a los movimientos feministas globales. Aunque nos entristeció la partida de nuestras queridas ex-co-eds Cindy y Hakima, nuestras maravillosas nuevas co-eds Faye e Inna, junto con el personal comprometido y creativo, han aprovechado el momento que encapsula tanto las oportunidades como las amenazas.

Sin duda, todes nosotres en AWID y toda la gente de nuestro movimiento lo sabemos… como escribió la poeta y activista caribeña estadounidense June Jordan a las mujeres activistas sudafricanas durante el apogeo del régimen del apartheid: “¡Somos quienes hemos estado esperando!”

ان كنت نسوية عن حق، فإنك سترفضين التحقير الموجّه ضد الممارسات الجنسية الغرائبيّة

تَلفَزَتُنا للثورة تحت حزامك مشروطة بطبيعة رغباتك

Nuestra base de datos de donantes y patrocinadores se encuentra actualmente en revisión. ¡Sabemos que los movientos feministas todavía necesitan y merecen más y mejores recursos!

Únete a nuestra lista de correo para mantenerte al tanto sobre esta actualización. 

También puedes afiliarte a AWID y encontrar y crear conexiones con feministas de todo el mundo.  

Afíliate

Upasana Agarwal

Upasana is a non binary illustrator and artist based out of Kolkata, India. Their work explores identity and personal narratives by using a visual remnant or evidence of the contexts they work with. They are especially drawn to patterns which to them communicate complex truths about the past, present and future. When Upasana is not illustrating they organise and run a queer and trans community art centre in the city. 

Upasana’s Exhibition